Respect for hubcaps.
You've seen it. Like lil wheel tombstones along the side of the street. A battered hub cap, leaning against a tree or hung on a fence. A lone hubcap. And not a retro, much needed to finish off a classic car kind of hubcap, but a plastic one. An ordinary, non-interesting one.
Besides the fact that it's been "saved".
I saw one this morning. There was trash in the gutter, yards over-grown with weeds, hookers on their way home after a hard days-night. There it was, leaning on a tree. Picked from the road by some passerby who decided that the hubcap should, not only be saved for the street, but displayed against the tree on the side of the road.
The thought that the person who lost it might notice and wander back over the streets they went down days before, worry creasing their brow.
"Ohhhh...my poor hub cap! Where ever could it be?"
And then they would see it!! There, just beyond the crack dealer, by the tumbleweed like newspaper balls, rolling down the street in the dusty wind.
How happy that car owner would be, that some kind soul saved their plastic, piece of shit, scuffed up hubcap.
Praise the Oprah!
What is it about a hubcap that someone will take the effort to give it a place of honor, but they won't clean up the crap in their front yard? Seriously....they aren't coming back for it! It more than likely came off on the passenger side anyway. So that means the owner/driver won't notice it's missing for at least a couple days. By the time they notice, they won't remember where they hell they've been!
And if the car had three other hubcaps like THAT one....they ain't gonna miss THIS one. In fact that's probably the LAST hubcap they had on the car anyway.
Is there some hubcap reward spot I don't know about? Can you collect them like cans and bottles and get a good return on them? You see homeless folks with them all the time. And not usually down in the grocery basket, but riding in the pace of honor, on top! Like a Flava Flave necklace, it's a status symbol for vagabonds and hobos.
It's not like they are made of metal anymore, so there can't be a "scrap metal" value to them. I'm not sure what those spinner ones are made of, but if you lost one of those, you would have a back up cap underneath. It's like a naked rim protection system. Two for the price of one with a down payment of "good lord that's the dumbest looking set of wheels I've ever seen."
Hubcap idolatry will forever mesmerise me. Check it out on your next drive. You'll see them. Standing alone, helped from the gutter to sidewalk glory, but some helping hand.
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