"I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type." ~Bob Hope

I'm there....I've gotten THAT old.

I need a magnifying mirror.

We were at the mother-in-laws for T-day and, in an effort to make myself look presentable, I decided to rid myself of my mono brow. Ok...it wasn't really a mono brow. But if I left alone, it would certainly meet in the middle at some point. If only to match the Stalin sized mustache that would crop up on my lip if that wasn't weed whacked off my face with regular facescaping.

Did I mention I am part Italian?

Since her mirror has terrible lighting, I spotted a small hand mirror in a decorative basket. I use one at home so I can get closer to the light. So this was perfect! I leaned up against the window, with the bright morning light streaming in, lifted the mirror to my face and instantly recoiled in horror!

There was a large plantation of tobacco leaves growing on my forehead!!!

When I finally caught my breath, from the scare, I realized that mumsie had a magnifying mirror. When I held it a safe distance, I found that I could see everything I had missed for months! And with the realization that the end of my eyebrows could be braided, I realized that I needed magnification.

It's like admitting that the aging process is really happening. Like when your prescription in your glasses changes, or your knees creak when you get out of bed. When you see children and someone tells you they are actually college students.

Did I mention how many wrinkles that bitch of a mirror shows as well?

So it seems that the older I get, the more I need items that will, ultimately, point out how old you've gotten.

I can't wait to get a cane...I'm going to smash the shit out of that mirror!