Oh the nerve!

I've been bad about keeping up regular appointments with my chiropractor. What does that mean? Well, when she moves stuff after they have been in the wrong position for so long, they end up moving back, and not in a good way.

This time around, they moved so that it must have pinched a nerve in my back. I've never had a pinched nerve. (and mind you I'm self diagnosing till I get to my appointment in 20 min)

Lets see if I can do it justice: It feels like there is a carving knife jammed just to the left of my tailbone. And some invisible Gnome is pounding it in with a mallet.

Otherwise, it's fine.

But knowing that the knife could plunge into me at any moment, makes me move like a 90 year old woman. Washing my hands this morning was like Tai Chi: I moved slowly, tilting to the left, dipping one hand into the stream, then following with the right, rotating the left up and out. It was quite beautiful, except for the excruciating pain.

I'm ok sitting, till I have to get up.

I can actually lift my legs up and stand on one at a time, but I can't lean left or right when they are both on the ground.

I can sit on the couch and lean all the way forward, but once I start to lean back, tears well up in my eyes.

There might be issues with me marching in the local St. Paddy's parade this weekend.

YA THINK???

I've found that, as you get older, more things happen to you that keep you from doing things you use to do. You don't want to admit it, but ya just don't get around like ya use too.

I guess things could be worse, the knife could be in my back...that's a whole nother problem, indeed.

Due Process? I say shoot 'um!

So this scumbag, sex offender in San Diego snatched a beautiful, vibrant girl in a park, and now she's gone. Only god knows where she is, or what she's gone through. Or if she is alive.

And it seems this piece of shit has been linked to a previous case as well.

When are we going to stop letting these worthless, meat bags out of jail? If you are a sex offender, you are in jail for life. I don't care what level you are. If you are a proven sex offender, rot...rot down to your bones in a dank cell where rats won't even gnaw on your filthy soul.

Why can't these people control themselves? It's a mental disorder that can't be cured.

I'll tell ya what...nothing makes me want to don a mask and become a vigilante more than sex offenders. I'll pass out some justice. Just give me a lead pipe and a locked room. I'll show them a 'whacking off' they won't walk away from.

God forbid if anyone ever tried to do anything to me....it would be the last thing they remembered.

These people make me sick....sick! Stay at home and look at your freaky porn and stay away from people. You have NO right to touch another human. What am I saying.....You don't have a right to breath on this earth!

My hope is, when they get this guy, guilty and locked up, he never gets out. And some guy named Bubba learns him what it's like to be held down and given a size 7 poop-shoot. I hope he spends every day in jail screaming for his life. I hope he ends up in the medical bay every week, sewing him up, so someone else can split him in half again.

But ya know what....he'll be out on a technicality. Or cuz his parents have money. Or cuz the judge is having on off day. Or that whole good behavior thing. Cuz even mentally damaged folks can behave themselves from time to time.

And he will find himself another house, next to a park, where he can sit on his front porch and pick out his next victim. Like a fresh pile of farm grown tomatoes.....so ripe for the picking.

I pray it's not from your garden.

Hangin' with the dudes

Being a Lezbaneze tribal chief, there is a certain level of acceptance into the boys club that I'm allowed.

Like if a hot girl is walking down the street in front of the office, they might call me in to approve the selection.

If a certain actress is delicious in a new movie, where she is scantily clad, I'm often panting in agreement with the boys around the water cooler.

But my favorite time...lunch. No salad here!

I just mowed through a basket of wings with not one insecure feeling in my femininity. Sucked on my fingers, double dipped in my blue cheese, quadruple used my napkin till the paper pulled off on my fingers in sticky, orange clumps.

Then I ordered more blue cheese....and napkins.

All the while talk of baseball picks, old girlfriends and co-worker gossip, swirled around the table. I didn't even have to participate! I just kept sucking on my Thai BBQ wings. No one expected me to be 'on'. I didn't have to entertain.

And there were breaks in the conversations that weren't awkward silence. Just the dudes...chillin'.

Schweet!

We all paid separate, to wrestling for who's gonna pay for who. Then we skated out of the place, our foursome of full bellies, burping our approval of the fine meal, on the way to the car.

My over all feeling....boys are gross. Right up to the point that I wanna be just as gross. Then they are just fine.

The Dome. And I ain't talkn' SU.

I'm doing it again, shaving my melon for kids cancer on March 21st.

It's been two years since the team I was with raised $12,000 for St. Baldrick's. I've set my sights higher this year: $20,000. But I think we have the group to do it.

10 women make up the Bald Banshees. It's the first all woman shave team for this event. I made the organizer promise that we had a lock on that title before I would commit.

"David, have you ever had an all girl shave team?"

"Well....let's see," he says with his Irish accent. "There were some teachers one year...."

"But was that team all girls?"

"No.....but there was a team of sheriffs another year...."

"All girls?"

"Nah....I don't think so."

"David....I'm not doing this unless I can be your official first all female team"

"Are you saying you want to be the first all girl team or you're not doing it?"

"Yes."

"YOU are my first, official, all girl shave team." as a smile spreads over his face.

When I did this the first time, I never expected the reaction I got from other women who didn't do it. It was amazing to see the level of vanity still attached to hair.

In the old days it was all a woman had. A symbol of wealth, stature. To hear women say to me, "I could never do what you just did!" as I stood before them, unable to take my hand off my stubbly head, thinking, "But it was so easy to do for such a good cause!"

I'm not saying I wasn't nervous. I'm not saying I wasn't well on my way to being drunk by the time they clipped my shoulder length locks. I will tell you that nothing sobers you up more than when you can feel a cold breeze on the back of your head that you've never felt before.

Then it gets to be a lil like a pregnant woman...everyone thinks they can just start rubbin' your head. I do enjoy that, so I'm not so much against it, but I'm sure most folks have felt a man's shaved head. I'm guessing it's not much different, but they would pet my bunny soft fuzz like it was odd. I guess on a woman it is.

My arms were actually sore for a couple days, cuz I kept reaching up and rubbing my own head! And thinking back, it didn't take long at all for it to grow back. I think every woman should shave her head at least once. It can be a life altering moment to be under the razor, a la G.I. Jane.

If we can get to $20,000...it will be a life altering moment for some kid with cancer too.

PLEASE DONATE

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/cabrina

I haven't blogged and a while and now there are too many items I would like to talk about and not enough time to do it in.

But I shall try.

I'm loving my Droid, even more, if you can believe.

____________________

I triple love Rosie Radio and my XM radio isn't broken anymore. I found out they freeze. Now I don't leave it in the car, unless I'm recording the show from 10-noon. Then I bring it into the office and warm it up and listen to Ro. Radio so suits her. She's free to talk and give her opinion for 30 min blocks of time or more if she wants. It's all yellow!

____________________

Can you even stand people that, after they get their money for the ATM, decide they are going to do their filing and re-organizing their purse or wallet and not move forward? I mean can you drive forward and THEN do all that? ComeOHN!

____________________

The 'girls' in the office just got taken to lunch by the men folk, as a thank you for our hard work. We went to a lil place called Sparky Town, which is divine! The ladies loved it and the dudes bitched about the vegan choices and lack of red meat and mashed taters. Annoying! It's not about you right now.

____________________

We have an IPH night at a pub tonight. Have a talked about the radio show? My co-worker and friend started an Irish hour on local radio. I, of course, gave my graphic genius to make the logo and PR/marketing materials to his effort.

Since I was a kid, I've thought about being a DJ. I did a lil music DJing in Cali for a ladies bar and some special events. But I always thought about being an actual radio DJ. So for a lack of payment, I decided I wanted some airtime and lo and behold, our chemistry took off and now it's a two person show growing by leaps and bounds.

We've been trying to do an event once a month so tonight we are going to play Celtic Rock, give away crap and concert tickets and drink and meet our adoring fans. (or a few of our friends that are going to show up). http://www.irishpowerhour.com/

__________________________

I had my birthday this week. Another year older and wiser, as I tell my sisters who are younger. (the wiser part takes the edge off the older part) My gal and I, since our birthdays are so close, decided we would finally get a flat screen and that would be IT for gifts. It was so very odd to not have her open anything on her birthday. Even tho birthdays are only once a year, you get use to giving and opening on your special day.

__________________________

Homesick....I don't get that often, but lately I am. I miss my family and sister nights and dinner at 5pm with everyone around the table. sigh....

__________________________

My money motivation video really works! Affirmations. It can be a coupon or a free lunch, but it works. And if nothing else it makes me realize the small things in life that makes me more thankful for the little things.

__________________________

Whew! Sooo much more room in my brain now that I've dumped here. Now I can stuff it full of more things to blog about for next time.

"...but....how do I answer the phone?"

That was the question I asked the sales guy at Verizon. And in that moment I felt as old as dirt.

I've been in need of a new phone for some time now. After switching back and forth to family plans and back to single plans, I've had my phone long enough that the buttons don't work quite right anymore. The battery only lasts a day when it use to go a few at a time. Not to mention I'm a tech whore who loves a new toy that lights up and makes noise.

Little known fact with cell phone companies: It seems that every time you change your plan around, you screw yourself out of paying them for a new phone. I don't get that part of the cell phone biz. I mean, what's it to them if I want to buy a new phone? You'd think they would like people coming in and plunking down hard earned cabbage for the newest, gleaming, hunk of over prices plastic and Japanese micro chips (are they still micro chips, or have they evolved too?)

I finally got to a halfway point where I got a whopping $30 off. HOLD ME BACK!! Since I wanted a Motorola Droid, that's like throwing a penny through the hole in a tire swing and hoping it will plug it up!

My biggest problem was that you have to buy a data package. There are all these extra lil bits and bytes that they nickle and dime you for. One mystery is a 'kb of data'. I asked my sales guy WTF that was:

"Um....well....it's hard to measure."

Really??? Cuz you seem to measure it just fine on my bill. $2-$5 extra if I happen to hit that one button and get myself a lil kb on the side.

So it boiled down to two phones: one I would have to pay $10 extra anyway and the Droid was just $4 more from that. I mean...what's $4 right? (yes I know it's technically $14, but let's not think of that right now) If I had taken the time to multiply that over a year and added all the taxes and everything else they are going to hit me with...I would have walked out the door and used my old one till it fell apart. But instead.....

"WRAP IT UP!"

It is a cool phone....I gotta say! It's a GPS, it's email, it's facebook on command, it's MP3 that can now be your ringtone (miracle of miracles). No...it's not cool....it freakin' rocks my world!

So I'll deal with the bill when it comes. For now I'm in techie heaven and loving every unlimited kb of it!

Angel Shit...aka 'Snow'

I JUST made it into work.

Lucky me.

All the other co-workers that can come and go when they want (re: Sales People) are at home right now. We had a snow fall after everything had melted off. Which means there is a lot of water, then it freezes. They couldn't get in. School busses off the road, emergency vehicles...a mess.

Everyone sing with me...."Slip slidin' away......"

I would rather have a ton of snow, then this lil covering of snow. Plus I didn't hear any plows this morning with their metal eating salt, dumping on the ground. That's always a bad sign. That means they got surprised.

Well...when weather man is only 9% right, how could you NOT get surprised?

After 12 years of living here, it still freaks me out to feel the car's anti-lock breaks grinding away and my car still headed right for the four way stop intersection. No control...that's a bad, bad feeling.

BEST Buy.....I think not.

The ol bait and switch. It's illegal, but that doesn't keep folks from doing it.

We are in the market for a flat screen tv. Do we need it? No. Do we want it? Yes. Can we afford it? Heck no...but that doesn't mean we don't want it any less.

We've tried to look through the Best Buy circulars and pick out something from there before. It's the biggest ad in there. It's their spotlight item. It has financing and free delivery and all the bells and whistles to go with it. And guess what....

THEY DON'T HAVE ANY OF THEM!

Not one. In fact, the tv we wanted, was -20 in the computer. -20?? Really??

You're telling me that not only was ALL the stock in ALL the stores sold out, but you offered 20 rain checks to folks, after you told me you don't give rain checks? For a 'green' tv that cost $999 when you have regular ol tvs for MUCH less hanging on the wall? You're telling me that you have soooo many people coming in today to buy a eco-friendly tv for a grand that you over sold them.

BULLSHIT!!!

I handed the lil man back his folder and said "Thanks." before he could launch into, "But we have a very nice TV over here for $1,500 that would work for you." OR "I have a tv over here that is half that price, but doesn't come with speakers or jacks for speakers."

I'm so sick of people thinking I, the consumer, is stupid. I'll be writing a lil letter to BS Buy today and telling them that this is not the first time that I've gone into their store and had this kind of treatment.

Will it fall on deaf ears? Yes. Will I get any satisfaction out of it? Probably not. But you know what, someone has to make a stink. And I'm tired of it being the folks that get the results!

"They've sent us a message... that they can take whatever they want. Well we will send them a message. That this... this is our land!" ~Jake Sully

We saw Avatar, in 3D, last week. Breathtaking!

We've come a looooong way from sitting with one lens red and the other blue, squinting at the House of Wax, my first 3D movie.

It's not about arrows flying at you or bodies falling on you anymore. It's about 'depth'. You really felt like you could reach into the screen.

And while I heard so-so reviews and some negative press on the movie, I thought is was great! Yes the storyline was a lil predictable, but really, did you think you were going to Gone With The Wind? I never for a second thought I was seeing an Oscar contender. (which, by the way, I usually think suck anyway)

Then I started thinking....I'm sure the over all message for military domination in a negative light, probably got the Conservative owned news outlets a lil itchy. I can totally see my folks HATING this movie for the message. (tighty, whitie, righties that they are)

Then I tripped over a discussion board for folks sooooo depressed that they will never live or achieve Pandora, the alien landscape in the movie, that they were seeking help and suicidal.

WHAT THE EVER LOVIN' FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!??!?

Seriously??? I mean...the 3D was really fanfuckintastic, but to be suicidal cuz you fell head first into a fantasy and you can't pull yourself out?? Really?!?!

You're missing the point here folks. And this is why we can't get anything done around here. We ARE in Pandora. We have to work to get it tho. And instead of hopping yourself up on goofballs cuz you can't play blue alien patty fingers with the trees, get up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

Electric cars. Wind power. Green roofs. Water barrels. Recycle, reuse, restore! It's there...we have to work to get it. If you spent your money on the environment and making positive changes, instead of Zoloft....think of what we could do!

Nothing bugs me more than people that just lay down and give up. Or people that won't help themselves. Now I know there are those that, due to sickness or genetics or whatever, can't help it. But come on!

Things won't change unless we change them. You want Pandora? Create it!

I dare you!

Insurance Bill Freak Out!

I've gotten to that age where I'm becoming dry, from the inside out. And the hair that once grew on my legs, is now coming out my chin.

I LOVE being a girl!!!

To that, there are certain 'tests' we get to take at the doctors that are necessary, but unpleasant. I've been taking such tests. And to cover them, I have my new insurance from my company that kicked in July 2009.

All the bills have come back UNPAID! Reason? Pre-existing condition.

Really?? What condition is that? BEING A FUCKING WOMAN?!?!?

{{{OK...breathe....dial it back. Remember the resolution dealing with your Hulk like tendencies.}}}}

Nothing jams my muffin more than insurance issues right now. Cuz you know it's a scam and one misstep will get you tossed!

After re-submitting bills two or three times with information they didn't seem to have, I got a call from my eye doctor yesterday. They are NOT treating me for a pre-existing condition, I'll thank you very much. "Your insurance keeps denying payment due to a pre-existing conditions. We are billing you again, but you might want to call someone, this should be covered."

And before you say, "Well...idiot...why didn't you do that in the first place??", just you wait!

So I call. Sue, a very friendly BC/BS phone worker, smile in her voice, informed me that my company, MY COMPANY, puts a hold on all new members to the insurance plan and they don't pay a dime, till you PROVE YOU'RE NOT SICK.

WTF?

You didn't see that one coming, did ya? Neither did I!

Ya, so it seems that until you give them this form that claims you don't have a pre-existing condition, then they won't "open" up your insurance. I've been without payments for 6 months!

"But there is a short cut, you could just let me know if haven't been to the doctor 90 days from your sign up date.", Sue's tone was now getting a lil snarky. Like she was going to trap me in something.

"Let's see," sound of searching the calendar, "Have you been to the doctor for anything more than a cold between April 1 to July 1 2009?" I could hear the "Hmmmmm???" implied.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY INSURANCE WAS BEING HELD BY THE EVIL WIZARD TILL I FOUND THE MAGIC ELF WHO COULD UNLOCK A SECRET DOCUMENT TO FREE THE MONEY FAIRIES TO PAY MY BILLS!!

And Suuuuuuuuueeeeee.....Snarky Suuuuuueeeee wants me to remember if I had been to the doctor LAST YEAR?!?!?!

{{{Breathe.....dude....you're losing it.....it's only January 7th. Don't blow the resolutions so soon!}}}

I said I couldn't remember if I had. Thinking this might be a trick. If I lied, they could cancel my plan for falsifying insurance documents. It could happen! I've seen Sicko.

"Ok...you're going to need to get me the HEPA Certificate from your prior insure."

"It was BC/BS."

"There are MANY offices for BC/BS. We don't necessarily keep each others records."

"But I have that document to HQ when I signed up for your insurance."

"Well then....HQ probably has it. I don't."

"But how did I get the insurance approved if you didn't get that?"

"Ms. Gilbert....if you could fax that form to me, we can go from there."

Thankfully, I filed that cute lil note from my previous insurer, and faxed it to snarky Sue. Now, that 's just a hand written letter that says, "Hey, she was totally insured by us for years!" My guess is I'll get a lil ol jingle from Ms. Snarky and she will say, "Well you need THIS official document before we can process any of these claims."

'Insurance' is actually Latin for: I'm not paying a god damn dime, if I can get away with it.

Well....I'm not paying a god damn bill till I get socialized medicine! Then I could get treated this crappy, just not have to pay for it!

I'm not dead.....yet. Just busy.

It's been a loooong holiday season ya'll.

I managed to survive a trip to Cali with holiday travel, barely. I managed to get through a visit with my folks without political upheaval, almost. I got back to winter and was relieved, sort of.

No more Xmas travel for us. I put my size 12 stompers down. It's the most expensive and probably the worst time to travel. Why do we do it then? I told my family that we would rather put in a couple long weekend trips that weren't during holidays, then try to swim up stream through the crush.

They weren't happy, but they get it.

What we would really like to do, and haven't been able to do for 12 years, is wake up at home on Xmas morning. I think we will try to make that happen for 2010. Put that at the top of the bucket list!

Now come the bills' YIKES! Another facet of traveling at Xmas is that after you spend all the dough to travel and buy gifts, you basically spend MORE money to "vacation" during the holidays.

For instance; we went to Disneyland. I love me some Disneyland! $74 per ticket, folks. OUCH! Then you get in the park and you have to eat...a LOT. Then there are the trinkets you want to bring home.

I don't even want to know how much I spent there. Thank Oprah I don't balance my checkbook. Ignorance is bliss.

Now we wait...for the bills. Ho Ho Ho Humbug!

Oh....and that dude decided to light us undies on fire right before we were flying home! Great timing right? I had to buy nice underwear before we flew, just in case I had a strip search on the way home.

Holidays are a wonderful time to spend with family, unless you're 3000 miles away. Maybe folks want to come to NY for 2010, I'm gonna say this year's Xmas theme is "Home sweet home".