About Me

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In my 40's and in the midst of love with my wife, ever after. I've been told I'm funny, in more ways than one. I love to laugh but love to make people laugh more. And I'm in a constant state of missing my family, but smile through the homesickness. Feel free to leave me a comment...so I know someone cares.

Monday, November 15, 2010

"You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment." ~Dr Ray Stantz, Ghostbuster




I've collected a few pieces of ghost detection equipment over the years. The simple fact is...I've never been able to use them. Thankfully...our house is NOT haunted.

Well what better time to use them, than when a friend moved into a former funeral parlor, with the back story of an old woman falling and dying in the snow.

Really....none better!

The weekend before Halloween, a group of friends met for cocktails, cuz what grown adult can get up the courage to stand with digital recorder in hand and ask silly questions into the air without liquid courage? We descended into the basement of the now two apartment flat.

The basement is where they would embalm the bodies. Spooky enough on its own. I had gathered up all my haunting materials into one big tool box: EMF, dowsing rods, digital recorder, flash lights, candles, camera. I mostly packed it for the comedy effect that I actually had a "ghost hunting tool kit", but it came in handy to haul suff around.

Beverages in hand, we attempted to be hunters. Mostly folks jumped out at each other. My friend who lived there decided to put fake limbs and hanging props to be released at the right time.

It was fun, but certainly not serious.

We moved up to the second floor, which was the family residence when it was a funeral parlor. The first floor was the viewing rooms. The couple downstairs, unaware of what the building was, had felt cold blasts of air, as if someone had passed by and one of their dogs would track empty space in the thin air, as if someone was walking to the back of their apartment.

We went back upstairs and four of us sat at the dinning room table As we talked, I felt cold air at my back. I decided to turn on the EMF meter sitting on the middle of the table. There is no reason the needle in this contraption should move, unless there is electro magnetic waves. There weren't any on the table, till we started talking again, and the needle started responding.

The needle would pop up and down with the conversation. We started asking questions and getting some responses. I pulled out my camera and snapped random pix around the room. When I looked at the pictures later...there was actually stuff in the picture! The front of the apartment having the most 'activity'.

Now I'm no expert, but I find it very interesting that there was all these light 'orbs' as we were talking and the EMF meter was very active. There doesn't seem to be a flash in the windows that would cause the orbs. There is no reflective surface that the light is bouncing off of.



It was also interesting that the 'ghost donut', which is zoomed in on above, was actually on the other side of the room in another picture, as if it traveled across the room. It's the same light anomaly, with the bright ring and a hole in the middle.



We decided to take our search upstairs. The EMF meter only went off at the front of the attic. We couldn't get another reading when we took a second sweep of the same area. This means that when we came up into the attic, something was standing in the front and then left. When I looked at the pictures, I had an orb when we first got up there and there were no more orbs in any of the other pictures there.



It was also interesting that the needle went completely flat after the initial spike that actually got the lights and sound to activate.

Probably the creepiest find, after looking at the pictures, was the profile peeking over the door. I've looked and looked at this one and don't see anything on the corner of the door and there is nothing that would cast a shadow at the height.



I'm going to say "not bad" for beginers! I would love to go back and do another sweep. I can see where this can get addicting. Good thing I've already made up my company name and logo. Now show me to your ghosts!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead




It's kinda how I feel today. Like a dead hamster, floppin' around in a wheel that just keeps spinning out of control.

My account is overdrawn.
My job doesn't pay enough.
My bills keep stacking up.
My exercise routine is null and void.
My sleep pattern is all screwed up.
My attitude stinks.

"Pity party for one? We'll seat you now, mam."

(ugh...he called me mam)

You know when you get in one of those ruts. Maybe it's the time change. Maybe it's the change of seasons. But it ruined my day when I looked in my new issue of "This Old House" with reader's before and afters...and I just know I'll never afford their 'before' to make an 'after'!

sigh

The week didn't start out right with the bank sending me a notice that I was worse than no money in the bank...there was actually negative money in the bank. I just sighed and thought, "Well if I didn't have it to begin with, I can't magically make it NOW!"

"Oh fiddle-de-deeee....I'll worry 'bout it tomorrow."

I was saying to my co-worker that it doesn't seem fair that you work and work and do a good job,and do extra stuff on top of that to bring good karma,and you still have nothing to show for it.

I have this lil radio show once a week, with a pal, and we are ALWAYS chasing the money. I had to layout a billboard for a local guy who makes hand over fist. Scads of cabbage for his show! He's on once a week, just like us. He has local sponsors, just like us. Of course he's pushing SU sports. And no one knows better than I that sports are where the money is at. Especially in this college town!

I said we should start calling ourselves the "SU Power Hour" instead of Irish Power Hour.

We'd be RICH!
And then sued.
And then right back to square one.

Sigh....have I brought you down with me? That wasn't my intention...but it really is true: misery loves company. So pull up a chair. I'll change the reservation. How many should I expect for our pity party?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

And life begins again.



It's amazing, what takes weeks to set up, gets picked up in an hour.

After a successful night of scaring the peewaddy out of lil chillin', we pulled up stakes and turned off the lights and ended another Halloween.

Home made props and colored lights and fog juice by the gallon packed into the living room. Babba Yaga, my gypsy witch alter ego, exhausted and cold.

We didn't have as many kids this year, but winter came early. There was actually frozen rain coming down when I put Bryant in his ground breaking coffin. I made him two years ago, inspired by my lord and god pumpkinrot.com. He was scotch guarded pretty good, so he didn't care about the frozen pellets bouncing off his paper machie bones and torn panty hose skin. (hence his name...I used Lane BRYANT panty hose)

Four fog machines hissing scented smoke. My friend Scott, who was the gravedigger in the yard, stiffly stomped after kids, grating his steel shovel on the hard concrete.

"I ain't going up there!"

"I don't want to go to that house!"

"Don't you dare get up in here and come after me!"

"Come on honey...she's a good witch!"

"Could you scare my son. He doesn't get scared of anything."

Just a sampling of those that had to earn their candy from the Babby Yaga.

Three college girls came to the door while I was inside. I had left the cold stoop, strobe at my back, to warm up a little when they knocked. Three fuzzy college kittens. Way too old to be begging for candy. Practically freezing their tails off...literally.

"What do you want of the Babba Yaga?"

All three shot straight up! They hadn't noticed I was staring at them through the screen door.

"Oh crap." one of them whispered.

"Well....WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?"

The front one moved to the back. The middle one croaked, "Candy?" I swung the door open and moved right into their space, cauldron of candy under my arm.

"Candy you say? Well you're a lil too old I say." They giggled.

"WHAT DO YOU SAY?!" I screeched. They all jumped back, clinging to each other.

"Trick or Treat?" the one in the back worked up her bravey to say.

"Trick or treat..." I put some candy into the first bag. "Smell myyyyyyyy.....??"

"Feet?" the second one says in a whisper, not looking into my face.

"Give me something....gooooood...." I offer to the third one.

"Too.....Eat?" the third one said, trailing off so that I could barely hear her finish.

"YES! HAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" I scream and fill the night air with my best witch cackle. It bounces off the neighboring house and fills the space between.

The three kitty's run from my stoop, shrieking and clinging to each other.

Just as they hit the sidewalk and slowed down, I heard one say, "I wish we had houses like that in my neighborhood when I was a kid."

Indeed lil pussy cat....indeed.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

"Hey mister...er...I mean Miss."




I think for Halloween I should just go as myself, since I keep getting called a "sir" anyway, it will be my costume.

Walking the dog yesterday after work, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I've lost 13 lbs. I was thinking my stomach is finally shrinking enough that my boobs stick out a bit. I'm feeling my 'girlie-ness' a lil.

I was still in my work clothes and feeling a lil sassy, headed towards the park. When we got there I let Roxy do her neighborhood watch and chase those 'damn squirrels' up the hill.(they are the bane of her existence) I didn't see there was a family at the playground. They had a dog, who was off its lead, as well. The dog saw Roxy running in the woods. The family grabbed at their dog.

"What is that?"

"I don't know."

"Oh...it's another dog running through the woods."

"Well where did it come from?"

"Must be that guy's, over there."

BOOOWWOOOOOOOOOP! <---- Sound of my 'Diva' deflating.

When I'm in sweats and a hoodie and a ball cap...I really don't expect anything but, "Can I help you sir?" I mean, I'm 5'10", broad shouldered, big grrl material: I got that. It just stings a lil when you're feeling so good about yourself.

I remember when I had shaved off 50 lbs while playing flag football in CA. I was feeling GREAT! Now mind you, I was down to about 230, which is OVERWEIGHT in any one's book, but for me...it was AWESOME! And 50 lbs...that ain't nothing to sneeze at! That's 10 bags of sugar or flour! That's 50 boxes of butter. Come OHN! That's a LOT!

As I was walking with a friend a kid, on a bike, road up behind me and yelled, "Move out of the way, fat ass!"

Ok...he doesn't know how hard I've worked or that I'm practically 'skinny' by my own definition. He just saw a 230 pound woman, from the backside, walking down the street. (And he was redneck trash with an abusive home life and I'm sure the family killed their dog from malnutrition...they lived down the street from my apt)

But that's why THAT insult hurt MORE. I had lost a ton of weight! I had felt really good about myself. Till the very second I let someone take that away from me.

I always love it when a skinny woman thinks she's fat. Really? I'll trade you issues any day of the week. If only that skinny woman thought about what she was saying as a fat woman was standing next to her. "Wow...if SHE is worried about the ounce she gained, she must think I'm a walking house!"

The irony is that when I was bald, twice, from shaving my head for St. Baldricks, I never got called sir once! In fact, no one would look at me...they all thought I had cancer.

So I guess if they choice is folks talking to me, as a man of course, or ignoring me cuz I'm sick...I'll take the 'sir' any day.

Monday, October 25, 2010



After wrestling with tombstones and wind and rain all weekend, I feel like I'm behind.

Normally the set up for my tiny haunt is a mad dash the day before, usually with a :::cough cough::: sick day involved. So I was trying to be different and put a lil out at a time this year.

I seem to be running in quicksand for all my efforts.

The view out the window right now....sigh....rain.

Perhaps some indoor decor tonight. I really should have started with that and left the outside stuff, again, to the last minute. I don't know what I was thinking.

We were busy this weekend as well, that didn't help matters. But what we had to do was fun. Some friends and I did a lil ghost hunting last Friday night. It was a lot of fun and while nothing major happened, there were some small occurrences that made us raise our eyebrows.

The EMF meter seemed to have a mind of it's own during a question and answer session. The spot where it lit up like xmas was gone the next time we were there. The electric field, mysteriously gone.

I got some orbs on my camera. And a ghost 'donut' that I'm still not sure what that was. I've yet to listen to the digital recordings, but I'm hoping there's some fun still to be had there.

You never know what you're going to get in a former funeral parlor, but it did make for some fun hunting.

The next night we attended a live version of The Rocky Horror Show. I had never been, so it was fun to throw toast and rice and TP at the stage. It wasn't fun getting a pound and a half of rice down my pants, mind you.

So while I didn't get much done for the yard haunt, I did get to do some hauntingly good stuff.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

"...Drifting along with the tumbling tombstones."



I've been trying to put things out a lil at a time this year. Usually the yard haunt is a mad dash to put up the day before. It's not a huge thing, but I'm afraid of someone taking something or messing with stuff.

Plus weather. Being in upstate NY you never know what the weather is going to do this time of year. I've been trying to put out the tombstones in the front since Saturday and the wind keeps howling past the house. I've collected some fun props over the years, and I would be very sad if one found it's way off the lawn and down the street.

I've built some stuff too, that couldn't take a good rain, or snow. That's predicted for the end of the week.

Snow....that's not scary.

My candle project turned out pretty good. Here's the final picture:



And you can see the process here:

http://www.garageofevilnetwork.com/photo/album/show?id=2243951%3AAlbum%3A104451&xg_source=activity

I guess I'm going to have to choose between wind and snow. I'm thinking I would rather lash down the stones in the wind then try to put them up in the cold white stuff.

A stoning I shall go!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Candle, Candle burning bright...

Here are a couple more shots of my candle prop.



I started to spray paint them white. I might add some accent paint, just to give them some texture. I'm on the hunt for some rough looking rope to tie them in a bunch and keep them steady.

But here is what they will look like with the battery tea lights in them.



I should have the finished product this weekend and I'll happily post it right here so you can check it out.

If the rain lets up, I will start putting my cemetary up this weekend. 15 days to go. I need to get serious about scary the lil kiddies.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

So it begins...




I finally got to gettin' my 'Ween on yesterday.

We went to a friend's camp up in the Adirondacks over the weekend. And it was fresh-Fall, right in your face. The smells, the morning frost, the trees in umber, amber and red. It was fantastic to stand in the middle of a leaf strewn path and inhale the crisp, mossy air.

We came back early on Monday, which I took off, and I managed to find some corn stalks to put up in the front of the house. It still freaks me out a bit that I live 15 min from farms. $2 pumpkins, cornstalks...when were were kids, my folks had to take out a loan to get this stuff in CA.

I tossed some lights on the stalks and placed some pumpkins at their base and moved onto another project: Spooky Town!

The residents are all happy now that the lil haunted village is up and running with a flip of a switch. The fountain in the middle of town mists and Dr. Tingle's flashes with lightning. Sigh...all is well.

What next? Well how bout a project?

I took to cutting up lengths of PVC for my candle project. I saw this on-line and thought, "Easy enough!" and I could use some candles for the window display. I keep wanting to put real ones, but I use a backdrop to cut out the light and I'm scared I'm going to set the place on fire!



The next step was placing foam inserts into each tube, so that the battery tea lights won't fall through. Hot glued those. THEN it was time to play with "Liquid Cotton Candy", or as it said on the can: GreatStuff sealer.

This is just that aerosol can of goo that you spray into cracks and it foams up. This is how I'm making the melting wax on the candles. It really was gooey and odd to work with. Thank Oprah I had gloves on. By the time I was done, all my fingers were stuck together.

But I did my best and I'll have to check out how it dried tonight. This is before the stuff set:



Tonight will be spray painting the candles white. I'm thinking about getting a tan color as well to make some antique shading on them. I will just need a nice piece of old, knotty cord to tie them all up with and it will be done!

Now if I could get really good at cranking these babies out, I could sell them on Etsy.com or something. But I'm not sure how many more times I would want to saw that damn PVC pipe.

I guess I could give up my arm workout routine...hmmmm...something to think about!

More pix tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

“For the love of God, Montresor!" “Yes,” I said, “for the love of God!”



It seems like I'm so busy, I don't have time to do what I want. I hate that feeling. Not to mention I tend to say yes to over book my schedule, rather than to let it go and just have some down time.

So whose fault is that?

I need to get Spooky Town out and set it up. Nothing brings me more joy than this dumb lil ceramic dust collector. I love putting the stage together, placing the tiny buildings into the neighborhood and plugging in all the lights and sounds. I play some Midnight Syndicate in the background for inspiration. Then when it's ready, I turn off the CD player, turn down the lights, and flip the switch on Spooky Town.

I love that moment!

My candle project still needs to get rolling. I got the last of the supplies: PVC, GreatStuff, white paint, battery tea lights. Good to go! Now just to start.

The irony is that work is slow. So I sit at my job for 8 hours thinking about all the things I SHOULD be doing with my time.

And...well...I might put some work into keeping busy in my own way. For instance:

My friend Jeana just took in a momma cat, and her kittens, down in GA. She took a fantastic picture of momma Pearl. I thought the only thing that could make it better would be to turn Pearl into a Halloween kitteh. (that's not spelled wrong...http://icanhascheezburger.com)

So I started with the original...



...and put her in a spooky scene only a black cat would truly look comfortable in.



I'm really doing it to hone my skills and keep my edge...right? Riiiiight.

Now, I use Photoshop everyday and I very rarely use it in an 'artistic' capacity. I do what the clients want and there is little to no creativity in that.

While I was surfing my very long list of Halloween bookmarks, I found a free "Zombify Your Face" app on the computer that, not only didn't work, but looked pretty cheesy. And when you're a zombie...cheesy is baaaad.

I grabbed a pic from my Droid with the FX Camera setting...



...I've always considered myself Fall Colors, but I think I look rather nice in a "un-dead color scheme"! Some PS magic with the eyes, a chunk of brain matter snatched and some splatter instead of lipstick...I gotta say, I make a hot mess of a zombie!



A girl has to do what she's gotta do to fill the time till she can get home, throw open the doors to her mad laboratory and get to work on the important stuff.

Ya know?

Monday, October 4, 2010

"He's just resting - waiting for a new life to come." ~Dr. Henry Frankenstein



I'm a graphic artist. Which means I make 'widgets' for da man 40 hours a week. I never take time to really do any personal art. In fact...I couldn't even tell you what media I would spend my few off hours exploring, at this point.

That's why, when Halloween comes around, I use my powers for evil....er...Halloween decorating!

There are tons of sites for DIY Halloween stuff. I like to pick a project every year and try my hand at making my own. And for the price they charge for stuff at stores, it works out cheaper, keeps me busy and out of trouble. (which makes the local police happy)

This year I will be attempting to create my own stack of pillar candles. As I do it, I'll post some pix. In the meantime, if you want to check some other sites out:

http://www.hauntershangout.com/props/default.asp

http://hauntproject.com/

And a personal favorite:
http://www.garageofevilnetwork.com/profile/CabrinaGilbert

Friday, October 1, 2010

"You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing." Poe~Tell Tale Heart



Folks think I'm crazy...yes indeed. I love Halloween. I've loved it for a very, very long time. And I never really believed the experience could get any better.

Then I moved to upstate NY.

Now Halloween is a month long extravaganza for me! The changing of the leaves. The crisp chill in the air. Driving out for pumpkins and corn stalks on apple farms with hot cider and apple fritters.

OH...it got better all right!

And while I never had to endure the chill in my finger tips as I lay in wait for unsuspecting children, as they walk up the frosty path to my front door, in California...I live for those moments now!

The rustle of fall leaves as the ghostly winds push them down the driveway. The curling of the fog machine's smoke, spit out at random intervals. The shuffle of kids down the dark street. Their sight impared by masks. Their gait hampered by store bought costumes that never fit quite right. Their shrill shreaks as I emerge from the darkness.

SIGH.....This is Halloween, this is Halloween, red and black and slimy green. In our town of Halloween.

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“oh shit it's shit” ― Stephen King, Different Seasons

You know how you run and run and run and you're always doing and when you finally stop to catch your breath, things around you are al...